Monday, November 13, 2006

Tow problems?

Tow Truck In A Box is a superior "scientifically (un)proven" traction device to help get your vehicle out of conditions such as gravel, sand, mud, snow, ice, water holes, lava, gigantic mud slides, avalanches, mammoth boulders, and tidal waves. It's easy as 1-2-3 to put together. Just take out the three steel traction devices from the advertisedboxthatcostsmorethantheproduct, and connect them together from the hinges, forming a chain. Then place the traction device under the front or rear of the wheel stuck. Shift your vehicle into the appropriate gear and drive out of the hole and into another. Repeat these steps until you get frustrated to the point of calling for a tow truck service. You'll be happy Tow Truck In A Box helped save the day for you by being late to that boring conference meeting, or wedding invitation from your best friend who stole your girl. Sure, your wallet will feel a little light from a product that is better served as decoration, but atleast you will be free from the personal misery of having to uphold a busy schedule.

Now lets take a brief moment to hear from some of our testimonials...

"I was crawling up this steep hill with my truck when all of sudden I got stuck. I quickly opened up my Tow Truck In A Box and placed it under my wheel. But before I knew it my truck started sliding down hill and ran over me while finally crashing at the bottom. I'm in a body cast now, but thanks to Tow Truck In A Box, my totaled truck isn't stuck anymore." -Crash

"Tow Truck In A Box is a safe and reliable alternative to a tow truck service. If you're stuck in a sheet of mud, you can connect enough of these steel traction devices together to form a ramp and drive out of the predicament. That of course would mean you'd have to spend over $500 in product to make a long enough ramp (when a tow truck would cost no more than $100), but so what. This product really works!" -Car expert

"Dude, I've been trying to onshore and sick the heavies with my gnarly style, but I kept mullering and swallowed the chowder too many times. It was a bummer because I kept looking like a grommet, and I had to bring my dings back to the shop all the time. But thanks to Tow Truck In A Box, I've created my own shore ramp. Now I'm stoked because I'm not pounding anymore, and these traction pieces really make great reflectors for sun tanning. Totally rad, man! -surfer dude [1]

Motor Trend calls it the "Outstanding Problem of the Year!"

Tow Truck In A Box is only $29.95 for three traction devices and comes with a 30 DAY Money Back Guarantee. Those who order within the next 15 minutes will get absolutely nothing except an insignificant certificate stating you were one of the few who bought this completely useless and cumbersome product in the first 15 minutes of its release.

Don't wait! Supplies are limited!

Designed to work AGAINST you!

That's Tow Truck In A Box

Note: 30 DAY Money Back Guarantees are only refundable if you've actually tried getting stuck.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Beavis & Butthead out on the town

"Excuse me. Do you happen to know what time it is?"
B&B: "Uhhh..."

Really hot chick: "What are you staring at?!"
Butthead: "Dude, she rocks!"
Beavis: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!!!" [Add heavy metal head-bobbing]

[inside a convenience store]
Butthead "Do you happen to have, uhhh... any free food?"
clerk: "Get the hell out here, losers!"

Teacher: "The quadrant of ____ is____."
Butthead: "Would someone tell this dude to shut up before I kick his ass in."

Butthead: "Life is really tough, dude. I can't decide if I want to jam to the fridge for fear of missing a really cool tv commercial."
Beavis: "Yeah, man!"