Friday, June 08, 2007

skeptical advertising, part 5

"$5 mail-in rebate"
Translation: We just made an extra five bucks off you.

"5 piece steel folding patio set"
T: Comfortably cushionless

"$99.99 indoor/outdoor bar with stools"
T: Apparently it doesn't matter if it's raining when your drunk.

"Land-O-Lakes Fat Free Chocolate Milk"
T: But with all the sugar you're bound to put fat on.

"Better Value cat food $4.99"
T: Cost me more in the long run cause mine just look at it.

"Green Label 9" paper plates -- 88 cents"
T: 10 of these equals the durability of one of the "other" brands.

"Hy-Top Fruit Snacks"
T: Little fruit, lots of sugar

"Iron Out $7.99"
T: Porcelain out, too.

"Oklahoma/Iowa Steel Cattle Panel"
T: From across the country we've been helping farmers put their cattle in jail.

"18 inch Driveway Applicator"
T: How does the car fit in?

"Sportsman Generator"
T: Living the outdoor life is grand when you bring the city with you.

"Jersey Gloves"
T: Used for slapping New Yorkians

"Gas grill w/ tank"
T: Usually helps

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