Politician: No comment
Perverse Pencil: I'm guilty as hell!
President Bush: My new Clear Skies program will cut pollutants across the board.
PP: Future data results reveal pollution will increase by four fold compared to the Clean Air Act, to include several timely journalist snap shoots of children gasping for breath as the President declares his program a triumph.
P: I have no recollection of that name.
PP: My old golfing buddy. We've done many 'high wheeling deals' together at the private country club. But you didn't hear it from me.
P: I assure you the tax payers dollars are going to the appropriate funds.
PP: Like into my Carnival Cruises account.
P: The rumors on my having a mistress are false accusations trumped up by my political opponent. I have been a devoted husband and father throughout my marriage.
PP: It looks as though the mansion I want to purchase in the richies district is bankrupt considering my wife will take half of everything I own in divorce settlements.
P: It's been a real pleasure and honor to have served the people.
PP: And especially to my special interest pals which I helped fatten wallets for personal gain in return.
P: It is my promise and commitment to you to not add any new taxes.
PP: Except the "other" tax hikes that will not go in to affect until after my term.
[*Glowing* smile and choreographed circular hand waves like that in which you'd find at parades]
PP: It sure feels good to have won this tight and heated candidate race despite the backs I've had to stab.
P: Lets get a picture of the Governor playing ball with the neighborhood kids.
PP: We need the Governor to appear to connect with the average person, despite the fact that the multi-millionaire was born rich and has never had to sweat one day in his/her whole life.
P: Apparently my opponent could not be with us tonight for our live televised debate.
PP: [Hired hitmen are staging a suicide with the lifeless body they executed.]